Facebook 'Notes' of the past-part 7

My therapy :) And oh, oh, oh, how i NEED Jesus!!!
by Robin Haas Speed on Saturday, December 18, 2010 at 3:26pm

Dang, i really do need to start a blog for myself. I always get such relief from getting my feelings out in the open where these "issues" can no longer hold me captive. So yeah, here goes.

I like to think i am, for the most part, a rather positive person. Of course, i may just be imagining things too...lol. Anyway, today, i am NOT that positive person that i know God wants me to be. But it is what it is and i know He will work out the kinks in me all in due time.

First, let me share some of the MANY things i am grateful for: My salvation, my husband, my children (both biological and not), my home, the Holy Spirit, opportunities to share the LOVE of Jesus to those who may have other wise never heard His name, my Mom, my mother and father in-law, the teachers that pour into the lives of my children, my husband's job, the salvation of Alex and Nicholas at such a young age, the privilige of staying at home to focus on being the wife and mother God calls me to be, my husband, my personality (yes, the imperfections and all), the health of my family; my friend, Stephanie, that i have grown up with for 31 years and the fact that we can go weeks without talking and yet still feel like we haven't missed a beat when we do talk; oh yeah, did i mention my husband? Hehe! He is definitely my better half :) There's is many more but i need to get this other stuff out there too sooooo, i'll move on now.

I am gonna share a part of me that truly sucks but it is the truth.....i cannot stand grown women that still act like they are in high school with the drama i hear them talk about and what not; can NOT stand, as it seems, that i always have to be the initiator of conversation in a room full of 'family' and/or 'friends'; hate it when people act one way around certain people and then act a totally different way around other people...don't ya see, it's all an "act" which takes much more thought and energy than just letting yourself be the person you are on the inside and freakin' be real; hate in when i find myself feeling any sort of 'judgement' against those that don't know Jesus; cannot stand the fact that i throw away leftovers when there are kids dying for a lack of clean water or preventable diseases; really not comfortable with the fact that i have so many "things" that will mean nothing in regards to eternity but God is teaching me to receive them as blessings from Him; hate that i have such a negative attitude, on days such as these; i don't like when the "Church" says they are serving in the name of Jesus but apart from serving them their food or drink, they stay as far away from engaging these families as they possible can (no church in particular here, i am saying THE CHURCH, as in general); and there is many more, sadly enough, but i will stop right here to say.....Dang, i need JESUS!!!! Like, BIG TIME :/. Jus' sayin'.

Wow, i feel so much better so now, i am off to go celebrate the anticipation of HIS birthday, on my knees, seeking HIS forgiveness, once again. Sigh.....